This week I finally sent out another newsletter, after taking 4 weeks off. Before that, I had a streak going of sending something out every 1 to 2 weeks.
But I had been knocked out by a quadruple whammy of:
- The spaces I work in most frequently, and the people I collaborate with, are being blasted apart by decisions of the US President and his administration
- Pinched nerve causing horrible sciatic pain down my leg
- Influenza (which I’m still recovering from 4 weeks later, stupid lingering cough)
- My oldest child bringing home a stomach bug (which I caught the night after I scheduled the newsletter to go out)
I shared my challenges, not as a way to get my readers to feel sorry for me, but because I knew many of them (and many of you who are reading this blog post) are struggling too.
I have one career coaching client who was laid off soon after returning from maternity leave and whose husband was simultaneously looking for work.
When hard times hit, it can often feel like a domino effect, with the world collapsing around you.
Surviving the Storm
Here’s what I recommend to my clients and what I’m trying to do for myself right now.
- Give yourself permission to rest. The more you fight rest, the more rest you will need to recover. Take the nap on the couch in the middle of the day (and bonus points if you have a snugly 4-legged creature there with you for moral support). Say screw you to the apps telling you your streak will be broken, whether it is sending out a newsletter, working out at the gym or spending time on Duolingo. Those activities can all resume when the time is right.
- It’s OK to do the bare minimum to survive for a while. When both my husband and I were sick with fevers and coughing our lungs out, the kids watched hours of videos on their iPads, ate meals consisting of 2, maybe 3 food groups, and evolved into human tornadoes, turned half of the house into a colossal mess while playing. What matters is they were fed, got sleep at night, went to school when it wasn’t closed due to ice storms, and did not catch the flu themselves.
- Reach out to your support system to let them know what’s up. This is particularly important if they don’t live nearby or if you don’t regularly see them in person. You don’t have to give all the details, but they can’t help you if they don’t know that something is happening. And even people who live far away can offer support. My in-laws are in Minnesota and we live in New York. When they found out we were sick, they immediately offered to get dinner delivered to our house on a night we were struggling to stand upright.
- When you do return, reenter the world gently. I know you have a TON of things to catch up on, but if you jump on the freeway of life at 100mph, you’re going to lose control and crash again. Take your time to speed up so you can safely merge back into traffic.
- Be aware of how long your desire to hide from the world lasts and seek out professional help if it lasts too long. Of course, “too long” is a relatively term. But the wanting to hide from the world and loss of enjoyment for things you previously loved may be a sign of depression. The NIH has resources for finding help.
- If you or someone you know is suicidal, please contact the suicide and crisis hotline by calling or texting 988. Research has found that people who are unemployed are 16x more likely to die by suicide than those who are employed. My own family was deeply impacted by suicide so I strongly encourage you to reach out if you’re even slightly concerned about this.
The world is a scary place right now for many people. Finding community and supporting each other is one of the best things we can do. Please know that if you need someone to talk to, I am here. No cost, just a fellow job seeker trying to make it during difficult times.
(Excerpt from “Take it With You Newsletter“, sign up to receive regular updates)
